Happy Birthday Mom.

So many things are happening around me right now. So worried and stressed about so many things. College, choosing a major, my friends, my family, midterms, and the future are the ones that are foremost in my mind.

My dad is looking for a new job which is scary considering that next fall my brother is going to college too and that'll add more stress to everything my dad already worries about. And he's getting older so the stress isn't good for him either. I don't think it helps that my brother likes to antagonize him and doesn't know when to stop his jokes.

My friends and my family are so caring and supportive. I truly love them all. They're the best!

Midterms and homework are what my dad tells me to really focus on. And he's right. What's the point of worrying about the future if you don't do well in the present? And I'm trying really hard to do that but its easy to procrastinate and get distracted and to let my mind wander and worry.

And this may seem shallow or trivial or selfish or whatever with everything that's happening, but in the back of my mind, "I want to visit St. Louis!" still exists. I really would like to go back, not just to see all my friends over there but to also keep up my yearly visit there. I know I def. can't go to the church retreat but it'd be really nice to see everyone again. I'm also no longer thinking about transferring just cause that would cost too much.

Even if no one reads this, I'm glad I sort of got it all off my shoulders. Its relieving that there's a place I can write about stuff without having to tell anyone. I don't like being so open around people. I keep things locked up inside and I know its not healthy but that's just how I am. I feel more comfortable this way.

Yay! i'm going home today! =D